Week 5 Story: Mildly Inconvenient
Egyptian Myth and Legend by Donald Mackenzie
Ra and Hathor
"I bet you wonder why I have gathered you all here today," belted Ra, king of the gods. "It seems that humans no longer respect my authority and wish to revolt against me. This is unacceptable and as the gods, we must come up with a suitable punishment."
"Poison their water!" yelled Isis.
"Let the earth open beneath their feet and swallow their cities whole!" exclaimed Geb.
"Scorpions in their bedsheets," suggested Serqet.
The room was filled with cruel and unusual ideas as to how to punish the mortals. Ra took note of each, and, although there were some clever ideas, he finally settled on a quite simple one.
"Hathor," Ra beckoned. "You are to go and slaughter as many mortals as possible so that those remaining will become reverent of my power again."
"What, no that's psycho," said Hathor. "If you kill them all they'll just hate you more. Why does it always have to be about pain and suffering with you guys? Can't we just like... mildly inconvenience them?"
Ra seemed confused. "And how would we go about doing that?"
"Make their coffee lukewarm!" yelled Isis.
"Put a couple pebbles in their shoes!" exclaimed Geb.
"Crumbs in their bedsheets," suggested Serqet.
Ra was absolutely mortified. "Hathor... are you sure this is a better way? I would much rather be lain to rest on my deathbed than to have to take a nap with crumbs in my bedsheets. I didn't know you all had this much cruelty in you."
"And nobody needs to die," said Hathor. "Death doesn't always have to be the number one option, you know."
And so it was that all the citizens of Egypt would suffer from the mildest of inconveniences at all hours of the day and night. Not a single soul perished, but there was no doubt that they would never attempt to cross Ra again.
Author's Note:
I always see gods in mythology killing and causing immense suffering, and in the original Ra orders Hathor to slaughter the subjects of Egypt. That seemed a bit overkill to me, so I decided that mild inconveniences would be enough to teach the lesson. The way I chose the suggestions for each god and goddess was based on their character. Isis is famous for poisoning Ra with venom, Geb is the god of the Earth, and Serqet is the goddess of scorpions. Thinking of how I could use those traits to come up with evil punishments and mild inconveniences was definitely my favorite part of writing this story!
Ra and Hathor
"I bet you wonder why I have gathered you all here today," belted Ra, king of the gods. "It seems that humans no longer respect my authority and wish to revolt against me. This is unacceptable and as the gods, we must come up with a suitable punishment."
"Poison their water!" yelled Isis.
"Let the earth open beneath their feet and swallow their cities whole!" exclaimed Geb.
"Scorpions in their bedsheets," suggested Serqet.
The room was filled with cruel and unusual ideas as to how to punish the mortals. Ra took note of each, and, although there were some clever ideas, he finally settled on a quite simple one.
"Hathor," Ra beckoned. "You are to go and slaughter as many mortals as possible so that those remaining will become reverent of my power again."
"What, no that's psycho," said Hathor. "If you kill them all they'll just hate you more. Why does it always have to be about pain and suffering with you guys? Can't we just like... mildly inconvenience them?"
Ra seemed confused. "And how would we go about doing that?"
"Make their coffee lukewarm!" yelled Isis.
"Put a couple pebbles in their shoes!" exclaimed Geb.
"Crumbs in their bedsheets," suggested Serqet.
Ra was absolutely mortified. "Hathor... are you sure this is a better way? I would much rather be lain to rest on my deathbed than to have to take a nap with crumbs in my bedsheets. I didn't know you all had this much cruelty in you."
"And nobody needs to die," said Hathor. "Death doesn't always have to be the number one option, you know."
And so it was that all the citizens of Egypt would suffer from the mildest of inconveniences at all hours of the day and night. Not a single soul perished, but there was no doubt that they would never attempt to cross Ra again.
Breadcrumbs: the bane of beds all across the globe. Source: Flickr
Author's Note:
I always see gods in mythology killing and causing immense suffering, and in the original Ra orders Hathor to slaughter the subjects of Egypt. That seemed a bit overkill to me, so I decided that mild inconveniences would be enough to teach the lesson. The way I chose the suggestions for each god and goddess was based on their character. Isis is famous for poisoning Ra with venom, Geb is the god of the Earth, and Serqet is the goddess of scorpions. Thinking of how I could use those traits to come up with evil punishments and mild inconveniences was definitely my favorite part of writing this story!
Hey Andrew,
ReplyDeleteFirst off, I've got to say that I thought this story was absolutely great. It was witty, funny, and really managed to convey a lot of character in a relatively short framework. I never would have thought to write about the origins of mild inconveniences in life. Myths and legends always seem to focus on major concepts like death or birth or disease, it's refreshing to see a story tackle something like this! Your characterization of Isis, Geb, and Serqet as almost comic relief was great and your interpretation of Hathor was modern and hilarious in its own right. There's such a contrast between the style of the other gods and Hathor that really lends itself to a refreshing read. It really makes me wonder what other gods in this fictional universe would be like! I will say that the only suggestions that I have might be to try adding more descriptive text and see how that affects the style and voice of your writing. I think all the dialogue is great but there is power in setting a scene as well. In any case, great job!
Hey Andrew!
ReplyDeleteI liked the use of quick and clever dialogue for this story as it helped me quickly understand parts of each of the characters. I also liked how each of the suggestions that each of the gods kept adding in had some sort of tie in to their traditional Egyptian power. As someone who does not know much about Egyptian mythology outside of the seldom few that you hear of, I wonder what made you include the specific gods that you did? Were there any that had some sort of significance that you had to exclude? The idea of such low level events pestering the gods is extremely refreshing compared to the usual grand exercise of legends as it lets you think about the characters outside of some large quest or something and think how they would act on the average day. Really liked the changes overall, great job Andrew!
Hello Andrew,
ReplyDeleteI would like to start off by saying that you did a great job telling the story. I like how the story was entertaining and was able to convey character in the short story that you wrote. It is also neat how you utilized such unique dialogue for this story which allowed me to understand the story better. It is also unique how you wrote about something different than the Myths and Legends concepts. I like the contrast that is given between the style of gods and Hathor which allows this read to be a comical read in my opinion. What made you write something different from the other concepts? I believe that you should add a little bit more detail so it gives the reader more information about what is going on. I also really like the ending of the story. Overall, good job with this story.
Hello Andrew,
ReplyDeleteAfter reading some of your other stories and seeing how great they were, I wanted to read more stories that you had written and this story did not disappoint. I love the path that you took with it and how you didn't let the Gods kill off mortals. That is just cruel. By reading your story, I came to the conclusion that killing someone or something is not the answer when you are mad or frustrated. Some of the things you mentioned would inconvenience them are funny. Having lukewarm coffee is not a big deal, yet it would really affect people's daily lives and upset them. Your stories are very creative!