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Spinning ball. Source: Public Domain Pictures




Comments

  1. Hey Andrew!
    I enjoyed your retelling of the story! You were able to modernize it with your choice of vocabulary. It really shows how people can interpret stories differently by how different characters interpreted what Circes said differently. You stayed true to the story but added your own twist! I read this story as my option for the classical unit and enjoyed it! Your retelling was enjoyable to read too! Circe was not as evil as everyone brought her up to be, which gave that funny plot twist ending. The dialogue in your story was great! It brought more connection to the characters and made it very humorous. It also made the story easy to follow and flow very well. I honestly don’t really have critiques for you at all. Keep doing a fantastic job in your stories and can not wait to keep up with your other future stories!

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  2. Hello Andrew,
    I loved this telling of the classic. I remember reading this story from high school so it has been a while. I appreciate the new way you told it and updated a lot of the word choices throughout the story. I also liked the random twist of adding humor when the story was portrayed to be a serious matter. I am not a big follow the dialogue person, but this wasn't bothering me. It flowed really nicely. One thing that stood out to me, I always felt the evil of Circe throughout the story and felt she was more evil than what was lead on. You made it seem the opposite and I really appreciated that, it was different. It truly shocked me what you changed through the story and made turn out so well. Thank you for the fun read. I enjoyed this telling through your eyes.

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  3. Hi Andrew. I love what you've done with The Odyssey! This is such a clever retelling of the Book X: Odysseus and Circe. What made you want to rework this specific story? Was there anything about the character and/or characterization of Circe that made you want to flip everything around? I am very curious to see what you would do with other parts of The Odyssey. How much would you change the characters and situations? Would Eurylochus eventually do something so stupid that he gets killed? (Admittedly I can't remember what happened to Eurylochus in the original). What about Odysseus? How would you change him? Would you give the story a drastically different ending? I also cannot wait to see what other stories you take on this semester with your project. Are there any that you really want to take on? Are there any that you wouldn't want to change? Keep up the great work!

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  4. Hi Andrew!

    I really liked reading the first story of your storybook! Circe not turning the men into pigs was totally not what I expected. I also loved how the dialogue you used felt like they could've been taken straight from the original text (I'm not sure if they were but I assumed you changed it up a bit). I liked that even though Circe didn't turn out to be evil, the men got sent away for believing she was.

    One suggestion I have is to have an introduction, if you weren't already planning on that. I think it would be helpful for future readers to know what they're getting into before just going straight to the retellings. Another suggestion is to change up the layout of the pictures on this story. I think I would do away with the big banner image (I'm not sure how to do this but saw someone's storybook like this) and just have several images on the side throughout the story. So maybe an image of the island, then maybe the pigs, and then the picture of Circe at the end.

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  5. Hey Andrew!

    I have to say, you got me laughing. This intro was a fun one to read. You do really well with dialogue, and I like how it carried the story through instead of lots of narrative. I also like how you portrayed the relationship between Odysseus and his friend, especially when he called him, “Eury.”

    I also like the spin on the story where they thought Circe meant something else. That was a good twist that I wasn’t expecting.

    Any comments I have is purely about the structure/syntax, and not about the story itself, which I think is good. There are grammatical errors when it comes to dialogue. Sometimes it’s too long without identifying the speaker, or it’s very lengthy in general. I suggest breaking up the dialogue into smaller exchanges so the words flow easier instead of the reader staring at a big block of text. This would create more white space!

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  6. Hey Andrew!
    This was such a fun story to read! I am so glad you chose to write in this style, it is such a nice break from the regular dark and mystic readings that we see too often. I really enjoyed your dialogue, to me, that was the strongest part of the storybook. I just thought that this was a great rendition of the odyssey, and as someone who is going to be a future teacher, I really think that this would be a great pairing tool in my classroom, I think that I would personally have a good time using this as a supplementary tool in the class since it is such an easy read, and so much fun. My question for you, where does your inspiration stem from? Was this because you could not just pick one topic? That you wanted to write from a broad range of literature? Overall, I have no complaints over potentially proof-reading a bit more, which I personally also need to work on. I know it is hard, but it could make the story that much stronger if you proof-read one more time. Overall, lovely story.

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  7. Hi Andrew,

    To start off, great job with all of the dialogue that you used in this story. In my opinion, dialogue is essential because it makes a story that much more interesting and it easier for the reader to create a mental picture of the characters and who they are. I actually read this story as part of one of my readings and it has been one of my favorite stories that I have read so far. I do have one question. I am curious as to why you chose to make Circe look like the hero in the story instead of the evil one. In your version she let Odysseus's crew go into her house and she fed them instead of turning them into pigs like in the original one. It is a great plot twist, but I am just curious about your thought process and what made you decide to write the story like that. Lastly, what if Circe would've turned Odysseus and Eurylochus into pigs when they showed up at her house. That would give your readers a good laugh at the end of the story instead of just ending it with Circe kicking them out. Overall great job so far and I look forward to reading more!

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  8. Hello Andrew,

    I would like to start off by saying that you did an amazing job with this story. I also like the dialogue that was utilized through out the story. I think that a story depends mainly on how dialogue is utilized, by having great dialogue it allows the reader to enjoy the story. The story also flowed really well which also allowed me to enjoy the story more. What made you want to rewrite this? It was a great idea to put a few unexpected twists in the story which kept me on my toes. Such as when Odysseus's crew went into the house and fed them. I like how you made it into more of a happy part instead of turning them all into pigs. Overall I think you did a great job with this story and the other ones and I can not wait to read more of your stories.

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  9. Hey Andrew,
    I just finished reading your story titled, “Pig Out,” and I loved it. I have never really read much about the Greek gods and goddesses, and never had the privilege to read the Iliad or the Odyssey in high school, so my knowledge of Greek mythology is very limited. As I was reading your story, I was not at all confused by names or characters which I had always thought I would be, and I really liked how you developed the story from what I would assume is the more classical route where Circe would have killed the first man, but instead went in a direction that showed her hospitality and kindness. I am a big fan of plot twists in stories, and I feel like yours added some good comedic relief for traditional Greek mythology writing. I am looking forward to reading more of your stories throughout the semester and hope you get the chance to read some of mine.

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  10. Hi Andrew!

    First off, I love the idea behind these stories! The modern day approach with the surprise twists is fantastic. These two stories are fantastic!

    I am familiar with the story "Pig Out" is based on and thought your version was hilarious. The voyage had become, "the longest boys night ever" was such a fantastic line and immediately gave the story a more modern feel. But obviously the biggest surprise/twist was the "turn them into pigs line" being a figure of speech. This story made me hungry for some BBQ! It sucks that Odysseus ruined this great feast for them.

    "Sacred Grass Cleaving Sword" what a strange name for a sword indeed! Using the name of this sword as the basis for you story was genius! At first I was so confused on why there was a picture of a lawn mover, but after reading the story it made more sense. I would love to have a sword like that to mow my lawn. It would be so much easier and probably look so much better. I look forward to reading the twists and turns of your future stories.

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