Week 2 Story: Susan vs Orville
Susan, a 26-year-old accountant living in Lincoln, Nebraska, lead the most extraordinarily ordinary life you could think of. Wake up at 7:30, work 9-5, watch whatever is new on Netflix, then head to bed. Rinse and repeat Monday through Friday. And on weekends? Well, Nebraska wasn't exactly designed for those in their mid-20s.
However, there was one thing that could brighten Susan 's day without fail: coffee. Dark roast, light roast, Columbian, Ethiopian, Americano, Espresso, Cappucino, Black, sugar, no sugar, it didn't matter. Susan loved it all. Every morning, she woke up, took the beans that she just roasted the night before, ground it up so it would be as fresh as possible, and took her choice between her pour-over, french press, espresso machine, or one of the many contraptions she had collected over the years. This ritual resulted in a perfect cup of coffee that added a boost to her day.
The effects of that first cup of coffee would last her until about 1 pm. At that point, she desperately needed another pick me up. A coffee connoisseur like Susan would not stoop so low as to drink break room coffee, and drinking slightly warm coffee that she brought in a thermos didn't sound appealing either. That's where her precious cold-brew iced coffee came into the picture. It took more time to brew, but Susan would just make it on the weekends, bring it into work, and keep it chilled in the community fridge. Everybody knew not to touch Susan's coffee. Everybody, except for Orville.
A standard office lunch and coffee room. Source: coffeehouse junkie on Flickr.
Orville was another completely average Nebraskan, 24 years old working the exact same job as Susan. They got along pretty well when it came to the workplace, mostly keeping to themselves. That being said, a few times a week Susan would notice that somebody had drunk a cup of her cold-brew. After some recon, she saw the culprit: Orville. At first, she thought to just confront him and tell him to stop. But, after further consideration, she decided that he needed to face the repercussions for his actions.
She knew exactly what she needed to, and, after hesitating to ruin some perfectly good coffee, Susan took eight powdered up laxatives and mixed it into the coffee container. And then she waited. While she didn't see Orville drink the coffee itself, Orville's absence from his cubicle, along with the murmurs of her male coworkers to one another, confirmed that her target had taken the bait.
The next week, Susan brought her normal cold-brew into the office. Surprisingly, she noticed that Orville was still scavenging for her coffee. So the next week, she repeated the process. Same result. It took two more rounds of this cycle for Orville to finally decide that maybe he wasn't such a big coffee person after all.
Did the punishment fit the crime? Was there an easier way? It didn't matter to Susan. Orville would steal from her no more, and Susan would have her coffee all to herself for the foreseeable future.
Authors Note:
I had some fun with Americanizing the names from the original story, and I think that was a nice touch. Originally, I was going to have them fight over Susan's brownies that she left in the fridge, but the picture I chose was posted by somebody names coffeehouse junkie which made me think about changing the subject matter. I was struggling to figure out how Susan could "defeat" Orville, so I just kinda went with the first thing that popped in my head.
Story source: Romance of Old Japan, Part I: Mythology and Legend by E. W. Champney and F. Champney (1917).
Hi Andrew!
ReplyDeleteWhat a fun twist and modernization of this story! I also chose to retell this story, but I told mine from the perspective of Kushinada-hime. Your story reminded me of something that would happen in an episode of The Office! I liked how you kept some elements from the plot of the story, but you really made a drastic change, which is really impressive. This is something I am always timid to do in my storytelling.
Hi Andrew!
ReplyDeleteThis is the first story I have commented on where I did not read the original source story, so I went into your retelling with no idea where it would go! I like the detail you put into the types of coffee that Susan would drink and the different ways she would brew it. I never drink coffee, so this all sounded new to me. I cannot imagine a real-life situation where someone would continue to eat or drink something that they knew was not theirs, so I guess Orville deserved what he got!
Hey Andrew!
ReplyDeleteI never would have expected this. Not only was the story interesting, and it went in a direction I didn't originally perceive, but it also felt so entirely new that I didn't even realize it was a rewrite of a myth. The details about Susan's life make her pop as a character. I wish we would have got a little more of Orville, since he would be considered the "antagonist" of the story, but I was really rooting for Susan to get him out of his coffee.
I feel like what would take this story to the next level is dialogue. This story is just narration (which is perfectly fine), but it would be hilarious to SEE Orville drinking the coffee or Susan egging him to drink it. If there was just a little bit of interaction to warrant "poisoning" the coffee to keep him out of it (because for all I know, he could be a really great guy), I think it would make it perfect. Just a little more details on Orville and his reasoning to take the coffee would also help this problem. Whatever you're comfortable doing!
Great job on this story. Keep it up!
Howdy, Andrew!
ReplyDeleteYour story honestly had me so confused until I understood the source material. I thought that your retelling was awesome, and genuinely hilarious. I used to work at Starbucks, so all of the coffee references felt close to home to me, however, the twist was sad, haha... well, maybe not sad. I totally understand the need for revenge, which I really appreciate. Overall, loved this blog post!
Best wishes,
Mikayla
Hi Andrew,
ReplyDeleteI thought it was funny how Susan's way of getting revenge on Orville was to put laxatives in her coffee knowing that Orville was going to take it. While it was funny, it was also a little evil because I would never wish that upon anyone. That little bit of a dark twist in the story made for a good plot. I have read all of your stories and they have all been great! You have truly done an amazing job of retelling stories and they are all unique in their own way.